Saturday, January 24, 2009

Gentleman’s game…

Passion, anger, exhilaration, dejection… few things in life invoke so many emotions at one go & cricket features very high on that list… one just has to witness the old matches between Australia-England (Bradman, Botham era), India-Pakistan and more recently the India-Australia matches to understand what I mean…


The colourful mass of the tricolour or the ‘greened’ stadium cheering Pakistan… England’s Barmy Army or Pakistan’s Jalil Chacha, Indian spectators provoking ‘Aalu’ (Inzamam-ul-Haq) or ‘Monkey’ (Symonds)… each spectator either in the stadium or watching the action live on TV becomes so personally involved in the match as if it is a life and death situation & gives cricket its  religion / cult status in the sub-continent... the colourful abuses & commentary at Eden Gardens stand testimony to this J … as does the world cup semi-final flare up at Eden & the Pakistan-India test match being played out in front of empty stadiums in Chennai… Half of the Indians haven’t met Javed Miandad, but almost all of them feel a personal enmity against Miandad for that famous six off Chetan Sharma…that’s cricket for u……


Almost every one among us has been subjected to ‘stay where u r if the team is doing good’ rule… This will be testified by none other Kris Srikkanth who was forced to remain standing outside on a cold windy day when Kapil Dev scored his brilliant 175 not out at Turnbridge Wells against Zimbabwe in the 1983 world cup…!


With this kind of public frenzy, no wonder each match against the famed opponents becomes a do-or-die situation for the players as well…tensions & tempers run high…well directed abuse, a hurried shove or just some fantastic cricket … anything to break the concentration of a well set player, or demoralize a player…this calls for a lot of exciting cricket which gives rise to some of the best cricketing moments… while I had the privilege to watch some of these, others have been compiled from our very own googleji (where else…)


  1. Miandad vs Sharma: Venue: Sharjah, 1986. Australasia Cup Final. Pakistan needed 4 to win off the last ball… Indian fans were sitting happy & relaxed… the match was as good as won… in comes chetan sharma to bowl the last ball…  a full toss, bowled to Javed Miandad who swung his bat & hit a six! An almost unthinkable feat which ensured 2 things – miandad suddenly became every Indian’s enemy and Indian pace attack suddenly lost its sting … such was the loss in confidence that prior to this game, Pakistan had lost 6 of their 9 ODIs against India. After Sharjah, Pakistan won 8 of the next 9 matches against India, with 5 of them being played in India

  1. Sohail vs Prasad: Venue: Banglore, 1996 World Cup, Quarter Final. Chasing India's score of 287-8, pakistan got off to a flyer of a start, Amir Sohail and Saeed Anwar went about tearing the Indian bowling attack. Anwar fell with the score on 84 but Sohail continued to shred the opening bowlers. He brought up his fifty at more than a run a ball and celebrated with a sizzling slash off Prasad. Sohail after hitting the shot pointed his bat the area where the bowl had disappeared and then towards Prasad apparently gesturing where he will send the next one. Attempting to repeat the shot, Sohail made room, exposed his stumps and lost his wicket.  As the wicket lay uprooted, Prasad returned the favour to Sohail, pointing to the pavilion this time. The comeback was truly remarkable, almost a miracle .... Prasad has bowled thousands of deliveries and taken hundereds of wickets in his career but, it was this one granted him a place in the History of Indian Cricket .. for ever... the ghost of Miandad's last ball six was exorcised, once and for all as India went to win this epic game…
  1. Waugh vs Gibbs: 1999 World Cup, Super Six League Match: Australia vs S.Africa… at 48-3, the Aussies chasing 271 were clearly in trouble…the fightback was led by Steve Waugh… luck favoured him when he was given a lifeline by Hershelle Gibbs who let the ball slip from his grasp as he prematurely celebrated Waugh’s dismissal on 56… such was his confidence that Waugh reportedly told Gibbs: ‘you just dropped the world cup mate...' he went on to score 120 & won Australia the match… Waugh’s world proved prophetic as Australia defeated S. Africa in a tie in the semi-final by virtue of this Super Six match & then went on to win the World Cup…
  1. Waugh vs Ganguly: Venue: Eden Gardens, 2001: 2nd Test Match: Day 5: Chasing 383 to win, Australia were 166-3. Just before tea, Ganguly dropped a sharp chance off Waugh at backward square leg…Waugh repeated his ‘you just dropped the Test mate..’ line to Ganguly… In Ganguly’s own words, ‘maybe if he had said nothing, the game would have drifted to a draw, the result that appeared to be its natural conclusion. But, it (Waugh’s words) had the effect of geeing up the Indians. Immediately after tea, Harbhajan got Waugh out and Dravid gave him a sendoff from slip asking who had given away the Test match now.' A sure case of over confidence……
  1. Tendulkar vs Qadir: Venue: Pakistan, 1989. Sachin had recently made his debut in Pakistan…not even old enough to to get a driving licence, Tendulkar was facing the best bowlers in the business. As the Pakistani crows jeered and mocked Sachin holding out the placards saying  ‘Doodh Pita Bachcha ..ghar jaake doodh pi, Sachin sent the then young leg spinner Mustaq Ahmed hiding for cover (he had hit two sixes in one over). The frustrated mentor of Mustaq Ahmed, the legendary Abdul Qadir challenged Sachin saying ‘Bachchon ko kyon mar rahe ho? Hamein bhi maar dikhao’.. Tendulkar obliged Qadir…he hit 4 sixes in Qadir’s over, making the spinner look the kid in the contest. The over read 6, 0, 4, 6 6 6, David had felled Goliath ... and a legend was born.
  1. Viv Richards vs Greg Thomas: County championship between Glamorgan & Somerset: Glamorgan quickie Greg Thomas had beaten Viv Richards' bat a couple of times and informed the legendary West Indian ace: ‘It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.’ The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: ‘Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it.’
  1. McGrath vs Brandes: Aus vs Zimbabwe: Aussies have been known to sledge…not all cricketers take this lying down & some like Eddo Brandes gave it back fittingly… McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe’s No. 11 batsman Brandes, who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: ‘Why are you so fat?’ Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: ‘Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit ‘

And now for the funniest of all: Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold ‘Dickie’ Bird: ‘Bomber’ Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing an equally inept runner; ’When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!’ Once when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors.......both got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end. Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them ‘One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!’

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Raju nahi raha gentleman

We couldn’t have asked for a more shocking start to the New Year… just when the economies, battered and bruised from the onslaught of sub-prime crisis, recession, bankruptcies, were limping back to normalcy, came another nail in the coffin – corporate fraud…whether this is the final nail or more such skeletons will come stumbling out of the cupboard, only time will tell…

It all starts with a small lie, minute misreporting - under or over statement, to cover the losses and present a better picture… & very soon, it balloons into a huge crisis. The incident once again proves that people just refuse to learn from history… what led to Nick Leeson & Baring Bank’s downfall, now has contributed in making Satyam a junk stock with the now ex-Chairman's damaging disclosures… Problem however is that while the ECB stepped in to safeguard the beleaguered depositors of Barings Bank, the stake holders of Satyam have just about no where to go…

Satyam thus because of its misdeeds, has catapulted into the Enron league with PwC looking to go the Arthur Andersen way… looks like the ban on PwC from auditing NBFCs and banks post Global Trust Bank fiasco, lifted in Mar-08, is now back for good...The audit club just keeps on shrinking…will it be Big 3 now?

This unfortunate incident raises a lot of uncomfortable questions which we otherwise took for granted… Who has the final say on what numbers will be put for reporting, how did the entire company including the top management remain so clueless on the actual numbers, how did the auditors allow such a gaffe, how come the umpteen analysts tracking the scrip and FIIs, MFs invested in the scrip did not smell anything cooking, how come the banks took the reported numbers as final for deciding how much to lend…the list goes on…

While one can question the growth in the numbers achieved & stated in the balance sheet, how does one question the numbers itself? Entities like banks, audit firms etc. have all been set up for different purposes with each entity having separate responsibilities and system overall having supposedly stringent checks and balances. This basic premise has now been questioned as a result of this crisis (as has been the case in all crises)…What we see here is a mass hoodwinking scheme where everyone was taken for one jolly good ride (the sadist in me gloated over the fact that my bank is not one of the 6 banks to Satyam). Ironical…given that the company stood 2nd in the Asia, Pacific and Africa Region for its Corporate Governance practice in 2008…!!

The banks which had anyways become cautious on whom to lend, now will be forced to take a hard relook at all the companies balance sheets and numbers… another round of scenario analysis (the audit oversight sensitivity or fudging sensitivity now), MIS and downgrading follows…more bad news for India and the Indian growth story…

The sad truth is however that checks & balances have failed to avoid any failure in past and there is so reason to believe that future will be any different. While one can do endless analysis on a company, there really is no replacement to gut feeling when it comes to deciding where to invest or whom to lend. Seasoned bankers and investors swear by it and there definitely seems to be a lot of merit in going by one’s own judgement instead of believing some excel workings…As my friend recently commented, this is one hell of a time to be working in financial sector… people like me & my friend above, who started working 1.5 year back, couldn’t have asked for a better exposure (pun intended)…

P.S. Apologies for the extremely corny heading…suggestions for changes will be welcome…